hellooo.

didn't know translating feeling into words can be this difficult, guess that explains how i can update like just once-twice a year. i love reading and i would love to write, but my thoughts somehow gets disjointed eventually and it'll end up looking like a subject that has... escaped through the net?

anyhows, my social media might not display any signs of happiness between me and N but we truly are. many people are doing it like people should know about their happiness. like "hey look at us being sweet" but i wonder if they ever look back at their posts and feel bad about it when their lives start to be peppered with arguments.. i'm not saying it's wrong to do so, but i feel that many do it without thinking about the consequences. the image that we portray, would be what people's gon talk about. and when that comes back to you (because it always does) all you're gon feel is string of emotions. people tend to paint a picture they want to tell, which might not necessarily (most of the time actually) be what it truly is. i think.. true love lacks articulacy. i doubt you will ever be able to find the right words to articulate your true feelings. and if you do manage to, it must be deeply flawed because all that trying was so focused on making it sound great. true intimacy between couples need not be shared. if there was a need to, then a part of you is posting those pictures/words for the sake of the public's eye.

i've never really been able to voice that out to any of my friends who happen to fall into that category.  maybe i should let 2017 be the year for me to aerate my lies to atone for my superficiality that has been contained for a long time. and maybe that's the year where i'd lose all my friends because of my bluntness o.o